First of all I want to say I am mostly writing this as a reminder to myself as I am extremely guilty of doing this and don’t want to seem hypocritical by writing what anyone should be or shouldn’t be doing as each to their own and what works best for them, this is my reminder in writing that nothing good comes from comparing yourself in a negative light to others.
In this instance I am at fault for comparing my relationship
to another friend’s relationship.
No two people are exactly the same and when they develop a healthy
loving relationship it is their own creation that works best for them.
Comparing where you are in life in a relationship to another’s breeds
negativity and I am disappointed in myself for doing so.
I love my dear friend very much and she is getting married
in a few months to the most amazing person, just a fantastic loving match they
make! They have been together almost two years, while I have been in a
relationship for almost ten years. I feel a decade and two years is not to be
compared and neither are different people.
I am beyond words happy for my friend to marry the love of
her life and spend the rest of her life happy as she deserves. I still however
am human and let my own personal insecurities creep into my mind and then bring
down my positivity and I began to compare certain aspects of their relationship
with mine.
EG: The sweet dates they go on, trips, and talking on the
phone they do…etc…etc... I am not a very affectionate person neither am I very
social or outgoing and live in a very small town. Very different people in very
different relationships and I am not at the point in my life that I am
comfortable with either. I remind myself this as I write. I was feeling so down
like my relationship wasn’t as special or meaningful or full of love as theirs.
That is not the case, we each love our men and have
relationships that make us happy and have found our best friends, I love G for
who he is and that makes our relationship ours. I now feel so silly comparing
the two situations and feeling like a lesser person for not having what they
have when the truth is I cherish and love my relationship because it has been
through so many hardships and we only hang onto each other tighter, working on
my issues will make my relationship improve.
If there are certain aspects you would like to change or
bring more joy into your personal or relationship life, do not look to compare
as comparing is the thief of joy. Look to improve and put the effort and hard
work a loving relationship needs, making it a priority and focus.
Learn from my mistake as it was a low place to be and don’t
wish those thoughts on others.
May you and the person you love be who you are and enjoy
every minute of your unique and loving relationship.
Thanks for stopping by my loves
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