THE GUILT

 

The guilt and insecurities of my life could consume me alive on a daily basis. I spend my time pushing them out of my head, so much time wasted on this internal battle within myself, it distracts from what I know I need to change.

 

How to refocus my mind? How do I push out the negative that consumes me?

 

It's like your caught in a whirl pool, swimming and only getting pulled further in, all along seeing the calm waters lay just ahead your current situation.

 

The swim continues.....

 

 

Thank you for stopping by loves

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FRIENDSHIPS

 

This subject has been on my mind for the last few months, its a sensitive subject as I don't know how he other parties feel about it, so I will explain this is just from my point of view and what I feel.

 

I thought I would write about the subject to help clear my mind and be able to properly deal with my thoughts and feelings, I'm talking about friendships and the changes you go through over the years with the people you love.

 

Its hard for me to accept some people enter your life only for a short period of time or even in some cases a long period of time, however as our lives change and move into different directions so do some of our friendships.

 

Friendships become distant and strained, they leave me feeling like I somehow made a mistake and upset the other person somehow, I have thoughts of; did I do something to upset them, was I a bad friend, did I insult them, was I not their for them??? I have asked these questions with the answer to all coming back as no, I feel lost like the answers I am getting are hiding something.

 

Am I alone in thinking this way hen it comes to friendships changing, is it life for their to be changes in the closest of friendships, is it normal and something I just have to move past ad accept. These are the questions that run through my head on a daily basis. I know I need to move past them, but I am stuck on what to do, do I confront the friendships head on and ask once again if I have done anything that would explain the strain I feel and loss of connection, or do I simply accept that these are residual feelings left over while coping with the fact that some friendships while they can mean the world to each other at a time and help us where we are in a certain time in our life. 

 

Just because certain friendship's leave

 our lives does not mean they didn't and don't still mean something, as I write my thoughts out for you to all I read I know that I need to let go, its just not easy.......

 

Id really love to hear any thoughts or experiences you have gone through, I feel a little alone and unsure on how to talk about it with others.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by loves

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SEPTEMBER CHALLENGE

 

Id like to be held responsible so I am using my blog as a way to do so, starting September 1, 2015. I m going to do a 2 month health and fitness challenge while only competing against myself, and the goal being to better my mind and how I appreciate and treat my body not weight loss as the main focus.

 

This is something we have been focusing on at the last two appointments I have been to with my therapist, I want to love myself and work on what the therapist has been focusing on. My weigh is in direct link with my negative thinking and I hoe by focusing on better my mind and body I will be able to challenge and overcome the negative thoughts and rules i put on myself.

 

Say tuned for updates!!

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by loves

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DRAWING THE LINE

 

I fight with myself in an internal power struggle, focus on others and make them happy so I can be a selfless human being which in turn should make me happy in theory right?

 

While this does work for a short period of time, after the happiness and smiles have faded from helping whatever or whoever, I feel un happy again and wonder if I am going about this in the wrong way, my thinking is that by putting myself first before the ones I love and say no to favors and helping friends will make me a bad person, I will loose those relationships and not be needed since my whole life revolves around what I can do for the people I love, but it does take a toll on me, I sacrifice my time and life to make others happy and supress any needs I have of my own.

 

Is it doing damage to myself to be focusing on others, it seems so wrong to say that, however its wrong to be sacrificing and not putting myself first is it not?

 

I have been feeling like I need to draw the line and create boundaries for myself. If it doesn't hurt my life in a negative way by putting things in my life behind helping others than the answer is yeas, if I have plans or goals for myself I need to put them ahead of anything anyone asks of me. Its okay to say no to others, or maybe even in my situation healthy for myself to say no at times. It wont make me a bad person to say no, I cant feel guilty and let that consume me, if  I say no then I need to focus on what I was going to do in my life and know that its healthy for me to put myself at this time in my life above pleasing and helping everyone with their happiness.

 

Wish me luck as drawing the line is going to be challenging for me

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by my loves

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BEAUTY CHANGE

Its been ages since I have done anything different with my hair! I am big on re searching and getting together images as inspiration, and working up the urge to go for the big change. My hair is my security blanket, I get very anxious thinking someone will cut it all off!

 

I have major trust issues when it comes to hair stylists I am always scared it'll go terribly wrong so I stick with  basic brown, better safe than sorry. I am hoping to break through that rule I put on myself and use the below images as inspiration for a change. It may not be soon but I hope to work up to a hair change in the coming year.

 

It may seem so childish to think a hair change is such a big deal right? Hair grows right, it can always be re-coloured right? For me its the only part I'm ever secure in and to take a chance to change it and it not be up to my standards scares me, I rather keep everything the same, same as my life cycle you might notice.

 

I believe this to be the whole reason to go for change, prove to myself its just thoughts not exact rules, its just hair, it can be fixed, why not change it up jut a little right?

 

Stay tuned my loves.....

 

 

 

 

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THAT LOOK THOUGH....

AINT NO SHAME IN MY GAME

 

I'm sure this post is going to be a love it or leave it post as I have a few images of Kim K, I personally love her style and looks so I have no shame in posting them here on my blog. I wanted to share some images of a look I have been seeing a lot lately and am totally lusting over! I ordered some pieces from trusty Forever 21 and plan on doing a fashion post that is inspired by the below images. Is their any looks that just speak to you ladies? Id love to hear!

 

(Images Via Pinterest)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by

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BUSINESS CASUAL

 

Morning!

 

One week from today I will be starting a new position as an Administrative Assistant at our local town office. My dress code will be going from casual to business casual. I thought I would share some looks Via Pinterest of outfits I am hoping to aim for. If you have any suggestions id love to see them!

 

(Images Via Pinterest)

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by! I wish all my readers good luck if you are starting out in a new job!

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REAL TALK UPDATE

 

Hello loves, I thought I would update you on how my therapy has been going, at my latest appointment me an my therapist decided to take a different approach and focus our attention from my anxiety to my negative cycle of  thinking.

 

Below is a short paragraph on what I am now learning about. I feel like when I think of describing myself, this is me, so I m happy to be moving in this direction.

Consequences of Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is an obstacle to self-change. Any change feels like a big deal. You can’t see the small steps, and you don’t have the energy to take big steps, therefore you feel stuck.

All-or-nothing thinking is the most common type of negative thinking, and is the main cause of many problems including anxiety, depression, and addiction.

All-or-nothing thinking leads to anxiety because you think that any mistake is a failure, which may expose you to criticism or judgment. Therefore you don’t give yourself permission to relax and let your guard down.

All-or-nothing thinking can lead to depression because when you think you have to be perfect, you feel trapped by your own unrealistic standards. Feeling trapped is one of the known causes of depression.

All-or-nothing thinking can lead to addiction because anxiety or depression feels so uncomfortable that you may turn to drugs or alcohol to escape.

 

Lately I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with therapy, I am getting concerned that when I actually sit and talk to my therapist I have a great awareness of what I need to do but then I have a really hard time remembering the strategies and techniques I am supposed to be practicing in order to make the changes I need to live a more emotionally stable and healthy lifestyle. If I cant remember what I am supposed to be doing how am I going to change, how is therapy going to actually work.

 

I need to dig deep down and remember these are just thoughts I am having, my brain is trying to warn me of thoughts and actions that could happen, so I will remember to thank my brain for sending me these thoughts, however they ARE JUST THOUGHTS, I don't need to think they are in fact real life truth and proceed as such. The situation or me trying to self change doesn't have to be all or nothing, black or white, a little change is still change and that is okay, its not a failure.

 

This is still so much easier to type then to put into every day action, however I will try.

 

Ill keep you posted....

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by my loves

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TRUST ME TRY THEM

I remember it was approx. ten years ago my best friend had gotten chocolate chip cookies gave to her, I had one and since then (no joke) I have hunted for the recipe.

 

I was never successful in finding it, however I didn't want to go around broadcasting  have been on the hunt for a cookie recipe for a decade either..obsessive much...I know....

 

Last month as I was training my replacement at work (sweet girl) she brought in cookies for me; I took one bite and said to her, " OH MY these taste just like the ones from blah blah bah...and so on". They were!!! I now HAVE the recipe and  had to share it! TRUST ME TRY THEM!

 

Recipe: Chocolate Chip Cookies (or in my case I added smarties) 

 

1 cup butter or margarine softened

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

2 1/2 cups unbleached flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

2 cups chocolate chips (or your choice to substitute)

 

Beat butter and sugars in a bowl together until creamy. Add eggs and vanilla. Beat approx. 8 minutes....just beat, beat and beat some more. When mixture is light and fluffy add the flour, salt and baking powder. Stir well until combined. Add chocolate chips. Spoon small sized cookies onto cookie sheet. Bake at 350F 8-10 minutes. Do not over bake.  Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by loves

 

 
 
 
 

 

 

 

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SEVEN80

Better late than never???

I am once again late with my posting, but I am trying to go easy on myself as their are only approx. 2-3 people who even know about the IP address after all. Don't sweat the small stuff right?!

I was going to take the night off and just accept that I had missed my first posting since I started blogging, but then an order was hand delivered to me, and I COUND NOT resist doing a quick little post on it for you lovelies.

I always just give cash when it comes to a wedding gift as most of the weddings I have been invited to attend, the couple has already moved in together and as well living in a small town its common to not have a registry to choose a gift from. However, that is no longer the case!

I ordered this beautiful custom cutting board (made food safe) with custom carving including the couples last name, Initial and wedding date. It is so amazingly stunning I just cant stop starring at it..............I may have to order one now for every wedding I go to...and myself....... of course. 

The custom order was built by a husband and wife team just starting their business together as a hobby and they have an amazing eye for beautiful detailing. It doesn't hurt to gush about them as they are my sister in-law and her husband! Kinda handy...I know!

Check them out here: Seven80 Custom Designs

Thanks for stopping by

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

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BRIDESMAID TIPS AND TRICKS

 

I am little late posting today compared to my usual morning posts, but I decided to make G & I breakfast after seeping in on a rainy day and us both having the morning off, what are rainy days for other than slacking, right!? That's my thinking anyways!

 

 

Today I wanted to give some tips and tricks for anyone in the process or who will be in the process in the future of being a bridesmaid. I am in no way an expert and have only done this three times, but the saying goes; the third times a charm right? I feel I have learned a lot this last time around being a bridesmaid to my younger sister and thought id share to see if I could help any other girls.

 

Here is what I have learned along the way......the bride has picked you not just to help her or put on a pretty dress, she has picked you because she loves you and shares a special connection and friendship with you, remember that when the Bride is on edge as unless you are in her current shoes, its best not to judge but remember to be a friend foremost and always make her feel loved.

This is a very special day for the bride and she would do the same for you, so make sure its not about you, if you don't like your dress or hair...that's 100% okay but keep it to yourself and smile and be positive, the wedding day should be about love and laughter, not ourselves, right ladies! The small things are what's important in life and what the bride will remember about her bridesmaid's. Being positive and not complaining is my biggest tip, its no fun to be negative and any problems that arise can be solved with a positive attitude and willingness to help.

For my little sisters wedding I wanted to make sure I thought of her before myself at all decisions and made her my focus, I wanted her to feel loved and special, small gifts and notes along the way and helpful tips and texts to be supportive are what I think makes for a great bridesmaid.

Its not about spending money or outdoing anyone else, or planning the perfect event, just make it about how much you love that person and special and loved you want them to feel and your on the right path.

 

If your looking for tips on duties, Pinterest was great inspiration to me and very helpful!! I found a bridesmaid timeline, planning list and dos and don'ts I followed a well.

 

 

Good luck MOH & Bridesmaids!

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by loves

 

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QUOTES VIA THE CAMERA ROLL

 

Morning Loves, I haven't done a Quotes post in awhile and I have been reading and screen shotting some great ones lately, and I thought I would share. Hope my fellow Canadians are having a great long weekend!

 

 

This is a quote I love to look t regularly, I remind myself to not compare my start to someone else finish, we l start somewhere and it no straight shot to success, work hard, be passionate.

Thanks for stopping by

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