NEW MOON IN TAURUS

Tonight is the New Moon in the sign of Taurus bringing with it a very intense period of new discoveries and new awakenings. Truths will be spoken and what was hidden will now be uncovered. So much of what has been suppressed is coming to the light, this New Moon is about truth and seeing what is really there and not what we want to see.

This New Moon is a good time to commit to personal goals that express the positive energies of the sign of the Bull. It's time to enjoy life's simple and physical pleasures, savor good food and enjoy activities that bring us in touch with nature and with our bodies. It's time to stop and smell the roses, and to become more aware of what makes us feel comfortable and secure. With this potent Taurus energy, we have the chance to make important changes in our lives. It's time to make some solid yet realistic plans, and to set the stage for reaping the rewards from our new beginnings.

This will be an emotional New Moon, Your feelings may become overwhelming, you may feel a flood of different emotions all coming at you all at once, you may even find yourself becoming empathic and feeling others emotions. We may find that we have been carrying around a lot of heavy, emotional energy that belongs to our friends, lovers or relatives and we will need to recognize that it is time to try to off load it and to stop feeling responsible for how other people feel.

The Taurus New Moon is about strengthening our sense of security. It is a time for re-evaluating our relationship with money and possessions and to figure out what it is that truly makes us happy and fulfilled. It's a time for considering new ways of increasing our income or earning power. We should be concentrating on what it is we can do to increase our own feelings of self-worth. We are asked to get in touch with what it is that we truly value and want in our lives, and to part with those things or situations that are not contributing to our feelings of worthiness. This includes identifying those things that give us a false sense of security.

This is a time for getting back to nature and seeing the beauty all around us at the moment, trees are full with foliage, flowers are starting to open up and bloom, fields are lush and green, days are bright and warm, birds are singing. Look at the beauty in our lives and be grateful for all you have. Try to stay positive and steer clear of negativity, look at the good things in your life and look at how to improve the bad things. Taurus gives us strength so now is a good time to get any tough jobs done you have been putting off.

Use this New Moon to grow both materialistically and spiritually. Nature is giving us so many gifts at the moment don't be afraid to take them and to dream of bigger and better things, ask for more, do more, be more. Look at what may be holding you back and get rid of it. This is a powerful time of healing and cleansing our spirits, to release the old and stale energy to allow a new and more positive energy in.

Hey loves, I had to share this for personal reasons, I have had a few conversations with friends, family and G about my future plans, all of these converstations happened on my Birthday this week and the next day I seen this post on facebook. I read it and got chills it mirrored my converstations so well it kind of shook me, in a good way ill add. I wanted to use the facebook post as a blog entry so i could always know where to read it here on my blog.

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LIFE LATELY

While Netflix-ing and chilling (what I do best) I realized my dream vacation for my 30th birthday, still two years away. I would not, will not be okay with spending the money needed to travel to Italy. Yes of course almost all trips can be done on a shoe string budget, I however am not educated or experienced in travelling and neither is G. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing things on the edge to save money on our first solo trip, they only place we have gone alone to is California, with that said i reveal my new thoughts on where I would like to go for my 30th birthday!

Laguna Beach, California! I have been doing research, it will be much more affordable and practical than Italy and if you know me, in the end I always go with what’s practical.

If any of my readers have traveling advice or activities to try in Laguna, please share. Xo xo.

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MOTIVATION ON A MONDAY

Who else needs a little motivation on a Monday.....I know I do!

I use to do similar posts on my fav insta or pinterest quotes for motivational posts. I'm going to start doing this on a regular basis and relabeling it "Motivation On A Monday".

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VOICES NOT MY OWN

Anyone else out there have a realization in the middle of doing daily chores? For me it’s a regular occurrence. This morning I was sweeping my kitchen and deep in my own thoughts swishing around my mind and I realized, the thoughts were not mine  at all, I mean yes it was my mind thinking and producing them, but when I stopped to think about the thoughts they had someone else voice attached to them. To be honest I had noticed this before but hadn't gave it much time for fear of what it meant.

I hear Gs voice sometimes, as I forget a light on or I walk past crumbs on the floor, I let his voice narrate all of the worries I associate with him, by that I mean I worry I'm too lazy and don't keep up you cleaning the house to his desires, slack on cooking. We are our own worst critics I boost that and make it even more intense by hearing Garett's voice narrate, I never want to disappoint my loved ones and I think I create the ultimate monster to bear down on me and make sure I'm well aware of all of my worries, like its saying to me, "don't ignore me, I'm the one who keeps you from risk of failure". 

I'm not sure how much of this is making sense, I'm feeling kind of lost to the structure of writing this post, and usually I really try to make my thoughts clear in my writing.

Basically not only am I my own worst enemy I use the voices of my loved ones to critique myself and make myself even harder on myself. 

I need to remind myself that my mind loves to in any way in any voice send out thoughts of what it thinks protect myself, but in actuality from therapy I have learned they don't protect me in the way that helps my mental journey evolve and become healthy and self-loving. I will try to be more aware of not only my mind thinking these thoughts but my mind using my loved ones against me to place unwanted guilt or negativity on my day and life.

Anyone else experience this?

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POST OP WEEK 10

Post Op Update - 10 weeks since breast augmentation surgery.

I am feeling normal and feel like the swelling has mostly subsided, I have not experienced any more hyper sensitivity (thank goodness) and only daily small nerve pain, the nerve pain is very sharp and even more brief so I know whenever it happens it wont last long which is relieving. I do have days that I am still sore in the lower pole section and side sections but I'm sure that is normal as I'm still not fully healed and have some time left before I will be. I still think my size should be bigger or smaller sometimes, but I still have zero regrets about what size I did choose if that makes any sense. 

I'm feeling anxious to see how my scars heal and am trying to be optimistic that scars fade and they will look great at the end. 

I'm hoping to go for a post op check up in June or July with my surgeon at his request so he can see in person how things are healing. I'm looking forward to seeing him. 

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SUN AND SUNNIES

Spring has finally sprung in my little northern town, i forgot how good the sun feels on my face! That means breaking in new sunnies and bringing out my oldies but goodies!

Here is a small round up of my go to sunnies.

LINKED: (Top To Bottom) Le Spec Prince Glasses "Blue" / Le Spec Prince Glasses "Black"

Givency 7002/S D28e5 / Retrosuperfuture Ciccio Francis Saldatura

 

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BREAKING MY STREAK

Just typing this post increases my heartbeat and makes me anxious, just over a week ago I had a panic attack. I have had them in the past and they are paralyzing and extremely unpleasant. I hadn’t had one in over a year in a half which I was very proud of, but just like that my streak was gone.

Looking back it reminds me of watching the show “Mayday” (now in no way am I comparing what happens on that show to my life) simply just that they always explain that accidents are always caused by a series of events not just one event. That is how I feel a panic attack can occur. After it is over I can look back and see the series of events like stacked dominos lined up, the first one falls then another and another, then all of them are down and so am I.

A panic attack for me feels like I am frozen in fear, but at the same time my brain and heart are racing like the Daytona 500. I feel trapped and out of control all at the same time. In the past I’ve had panic attacks usually at home or in malls (one of my big triggers) however this last one was while driving. I felt safe still driving but couldn’t stop to put my vehicle in park, I thought driving was the only control I had, I ended up driving around for almost an hour and ended up at my sister’s house, the only place I could think of that might calm me and help ease my panic.

I never like to take help or bother anyone with my problems it makes me feel needy, but there was a small voice coming through while having my panic attack that said, you need your sister, it’ll help, it’s okay to ask for help. It was right as instincts usually are. I talked with my sister, visited and help my niece. I felt better after a few hours and headed home to have a hot shower and sleep, hoping tomorrow would be better.  

The reason for my post is that, maybe we are never truly healed or overcome anxiety, depression or panic attacks (all things I battle with) but maybe we learn to cope. Some days are great other’s not so much. I think remembering past panic attacks, I think I handled this last one better and I know that’s because of my work in therapy. The days after have been hard and not the best days but I can feel myself pushing forward, my fears of falling down into a deep dark whole of depression are just that, fears. NOT reality, at least not today. Fears are normal, I can’t get rid of them but I can choose to believe how truthful they are when it comes to my reality.

I can get through a really bad day, so can you. Don’t be afraid to seek help or ask a friend or family member. You don’t have to do this alone, easier said than done I know, but I’m working on it. …..

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