SAYING HELLO TO A NEW SELF

I LOVE METAPHORS

I LOVE DIAMGRAMS

So here is something to think on……………….

What if each of our emotions; anger, shame, self-compassion etc. created a version of our selves separate from one another. We each have our own way of thinking and acting that we call ourselves, however when a strong emotion is present example anger, we let anger control our thoughts, motivation, sensation, attention, behavior and imagery. When your angry think how the anger emotion controls each of the above six things. You wouldn’t behave or imagine the same things if you were feeling shame. If you were feeling shame then everything would reflect that, what I’m trying to say is each emotion controls differently which in turn creates a different version of ourselves?

Now imagine all of these “selves” on a ship, the self we want to captain the ship and be in charge of all other selves is Self-Compassion “self”.

I love this way of thinking, it helps me envision all of my emotions, values and mental well-being goals.  

And for a brief moment last week, I can proudly say I let myself compassionate self be captain of the ship even if it was brief and short lived, it still happened, which makes me feel very hopeful.

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SPARKS – FLAMES – FIRE

My last appointment with my therapist was an exciting one. For the first time in my therapy journey, both my therapist and I have seen what you can call a spark. This spark has been a long journey to get to and a very important one as well. I want to embrace the spark and encourage it to grow into flames and eventually a fire, a fire that I would equate to the success of my therapy journey.

I have had a hard time seeing small changes along my journey, however my therapist sees me every two weeks and has a better view. He has stated he does see small changes and one of my favorite quotes is: “little by little you’ll get far”.  Knowing someone could see small changes made me feel better about accomplishing change however it wasn’t until I could see the spark of change that I could actually share in my therapist’s excitement. I have to remind myself now that I need to keep trying hard towards making more and more micro changes that can fuel the spark into small flames growing larger and larger into hopefully a fire, a fire that I can say is the 100 percent accomplishment of change for the better for my mental health and well-being. ………so let the sparks fly………

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THE SEED OF MAYBE

The last few sessions with my therapist have been going great, I have developed a trust and peace with my therapist over the past year that has allowed me to let down my walls and be completely open up and be honest.

My last few sessions have focused on Self Compassion, what it is and how it can help, I have written about this before, but feel it necessary to somewhat repeat myself to ensure I am on the right path forward.

Self-Compassion:

Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment. Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.

I struggle with being very hard on myself so the thought of being kind to myself was almost impossible, I know that’s totally bazar to say but it’s the truth. Noticed….I said almost impossible, I have found a way to let myself be kind towards me and it all starts with the word maybe. For me this word has proven to be such a useful tool. When I think of something kind in order for me to not immediately dismiss the though/idea I insert the word maybe. It allows me to pause the kind thought I have towards myself and contemplate it thinking…..well maybe, just maybe it can be true. The more I stop to think maybe, the more it enters my mind and becomes a part of my daily thought pattern, almost disrupting my usual negative and self-shaming thoughts and replacing just brief moments with well maybe…I am a good person, well maybe I am trying hard, well maybe I am improving, well maybe I will succeed.

This tool and word “maybe” is like a metaphorical seed, the more I think maybe, the more positive self-compassionate thoughts I let in, they attach and grow inside me like a seed growing its vines into a plant.  I hope that plant keeps growing, the vines moving out the shame and replacing it with self-compassion.

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