The last few
sessions with my therapist have been going great, I have developed a trust and
peace with my therapist over the past year that has allowed me to let down my walls
and be completely open up and be honest.
My last few
sessions have focused on Self Compassion, what it is and how it can help, I
have written about this before, but feel it necessary to somewhat repeat myself
to ensure I am on the right path forward.
Self-Compassion:
Self-kindness
vs. Self-judgment. Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding
toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring
our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
I struggle with being very hard on myself
so the thought of being kind to myself was almost impossible, I know that’s totally
bazar to say but it’s the truth. Noticed….I said almost impossible, I have
found a way to let myself be kind towards me and it all starts with the word
maybe. For me this word has proven to be such a useful tool. When I think of
something kind in order for me to not immediately dismiss the though/idea I insert
the word maybe. It allows me to pause the kind thought I have towards myself
and contemplate it thinking…..well maybe, just maybe it can be true. The more I
stop to think maybe, the more it enters my mind and becomes a part of my daily
thought pattern, almost disrupting my usual negative and self-shaming thoughts
and replacing just brief moments with well maybe…I am a good person, well maybe
I am trying hard, well maybe I am improving, well maybe I will succeed.
This tool and word “maybe” is like a metaphorical
seed, the more I think maybe, the more positive self-compassionate thoughts I let
in, they attach and grow inside me like a seed growing its vines into a plant. I hope that plant keeps growing, the vines
moving out the shame and replacing it with self-compassion.
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