BUT I DON’T WANNA……
I know that it’s so childish and pointless
but I really despise birthdays! I don’t wanna have one, I don’t wanna get
older, I just plain old don’t wanna deal with my birthday each year!
My birthday is in less than a month and
while I’m super excited for family supper and birthday cake and a few gifts
from loved ones (that’s my fav part) but can’t I just stay the same age?
The reason isn’t what you would think; I
don’t mind the actual number of my age climbing upwards. It’s usually a good
thing and something to be positive about. You are wiser, learned life lessons
and have been through ups and downs that shape who you are and who I am yet to
become.
The part that makes me cringe is I measure
birthdays each year by what I have done within the last year of my life. I use
it as a tool to measure my success or lack thereof.
What have I done to be a better person, am
I better person than a year ago? Have I reached any of my goals? Happy with my
job? Happy in general? Working out and being healthy? At my goal weight or have
I put on weight? Conquered my depression? Financially secure and stable?
Blogging and being successful at it?
The questions go on and on and all loop
back to one general idea. “Am I who I want to be after another year of my life
has gone by? I then start the process of robbing myself of any joys I do have,
I start comparing my life to others, what they have accomplishes and they are
the same age or younger, they must feel so great when it’s their birthdays?
While I waste mine with nothing to show for it?
Or my worst fear which it seems is every
year, have I watched another 365 days come and go and have no goals reached and
I’m left feeling I’ve wasted a year of my life and precious time here on earth.
Does anyone else feel like this on their
birthdays!?
I know I will be feeling like this again
this year when my birthday arrives……..
My solution this year will be to try and
focus on everything I do have and to try and be as grateful as possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment