DE JA VU

Its Thursday August 27^th, I sit in the passenger side, next to G while he drives us south to my friend’s wedding to take place on the 28^th.

I pull out my journal I have been meaning to write in, I flip to open it and put pen to paper, I make in one sentence in and the words flow through the pen with ease, with every word I write I become over whelmed by the sense of DE JA VU.

I have seen these words, written them, felt them, seen this whole moment before, like a movie re playing slide by slide in my head.

I encounter DE JA VU often and still am at a loss for what it means, is it nothing? Is it a sign of some sort? If so what kinds of sign, what does it mean….. How does it seem so familiar for the brief time…..

In a way it fascinates me, does it mean I am on the right path or does it mean the opposite?

I would love to hear any thoughts you may have!

 

Thanks loves

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HONOURED

I had the absolute pleasure of doing my close friends makeup on her wedding day on August 28th, I was so honoured that she wanted me to do this for her, well to be honest I was shocked she wanted me to do it, I don't consider myself in having talent but the fact that she trusted me really brings me to tears because her friendship and happiness means the world to me.

 

Her wedding was so full of love, you could feel that they just wanted to be one and take the next step in their lives together, I am truly so happy for them.

 

Its hard for me to put into words how special this bride is to me, she is the type of friend you see in movies, the one you wish we could all have, I am lucky to call her a friend. It is rare to have the soul that she has, one so utterly open and trusting and full of love, no judgement or negativity, just her, completely herself and she open her heart to whoever you may be.

 

To my friend I cant write and gush about you enough and wish you nothing but what you deserve, which is your husband I know someday in the future a wonderful family.

Love you my friend.....

 

 

Below are a few photos from her photographer showing the look she chose: soft and simple with a frosty pink lip and shimmery eye. It wasn't hard to do her makeup, isn't she the most perfect stunning bride!

Thanks loves

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FALL-ING IN LOVE

I Love this time of year, the air gets crisp, the leaves change color and fall leaves cover the earth in shades of warm. Hot drink in hand, scarf bundled around your chilly breath, the leaves crunch under your feet as you walk, the dew making your shoes damp. The spirit and festivities of Thanksgiving, Halloween and Christmas linger in the wind, not far off in the distance.

This is the time my anxiety is at its lowest, when I can truly take a deep breath and enjoy it, I can focus on the beautiful weather and fall in love with every minute of the season knowing winters chill is soon arriving.

It makes me appreciate every day, the way I need to be living in every season. For me Fall is by far my favorite season, I am excited to take my annual trip to see the fall leaves and post pictures for you all, stay tuned my loves.

Thanks for stopping by loves

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FOR YOU

 

FOR YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY G

 

 

My wish for you is that you could see yourself through my eyes, you would see a selfless man full of nothing but love for his family. You were the boy who opened his heart for a girl who was on her own and had no support, you held me when all I did was cry and you never left me and still haven't despite our up hill battle.

You never waver and are so strong and kind, you are a man that should be proud of what you have done and who you are, as I know I am.

I feel like 31 is just the beginning, we are so similar I feel we will both learn so much in the future.

I would never want another, as being in love with your best friend means everything to me.

I could never put into words how much you mean to me, please know this is my attempt in trying.

 

Wishing you the best of birthdays, this is just the beginning my love, my soul, my world.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for stopping by my loves

 

 

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THE GUILT

 

The guilt and insecurities of my life could consume me alive on a daily basis. I spend my time pushing them out of my head, so much time wasted on this internal battle within myself, it distracts from what I know I need to change.

 

How to refocus my mind? How do I push out the negative that consumes me?

 

It's like your caught in a whirl pool, swimming and only getting pulled further in, all along seeing the calm waters lay just ahead your current situation.

 

The swim continues.....

 

 

Thank you for stopping by loves

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FRIENDSHIPS

 

This subject has been on my mind for the last few months, its a sensitive subject as I don't know how he other parties feel about it, so I will explain this is just from my point of view and what I feel.

 

I thought I would write about the subject to help clear my mind and be able to properly deal with my thoughts and feelings, I'm talking about friendships and the changes you go through over the years with the people you love.

 

Its hard for me to accept some people enter your life only for a short period of time or even in some cases a long period of time, however as our lives change and move into different directions so do some of our friendships.

 

Friendships become distant and strained, they leave me feeling like I somehow made a mistake and upset the other person somehow, I have thoughts of; did I do something to upset them, was I a bad friend, did I insult them, was I not their for them??? I have asked these questions with the answer to all coming back as no, I feel lost like the answers I am getting are hiding something.

 

Am I alone in thinking this way hen it comes to friendships changing, is it life for their to be changes in the closest of friendships, is it normal and something I just have to move past ad accept. These are the questions that run through my head on a daily basis. I know I need to move past them, but I am stuck on what to do, do I confront the friendships head on and ask once again if I have done anything that would explain the strain I feel and loss of connection, or do I simply accept that these are residual feelings left over while coping with the fact that some friendships while they can mean the world to each other at a time and help us where we are in a certain time in our life. 

 

Just because certain friendship's leave

 our lives does not mean they didn't and don't still mean something, as I write my thoughts out for you to all I read I know that I need to let go, its just not easy.......

 

Id really love to hear any thoughts or experiences you have gone through, I feel a little alone and unsure on how to talk about it with others.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by loves

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SEPTEMBER CHALLENGE

 

Id like to be held responsible so I am using my blog as a way to do so, starting September 1, 2015. I m going to do a 2 month health and fitness challenge while only competing against myself, and the goal being to better my mind and how I appreciate and treat my body not weight loss as the main focus.

 

This is something we have been focusing on at the last two appointments I have been to with my therapist, I want to love myself and work on what the therapist has been focusing on. My weigh is in direct link with my negative thinking and I hoe by focusing on better my mind and body I will be able to challenge and overcome the negative thoughts and rules i put on myself.

 

Say tuned for updates!!

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by loves

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